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Coping Skills

Fidgets 101 – An Introduction

fidgetsWelcome to Fidgets 101. In this series, we will review a variety of fidget toys over the coming months. Before we do that though, an introduction to Fidgets 101 is in order. Unless you’ve lived under a rock for the last couple of years, chances are that you’ve played with, seen or heard about Fidget Spinner. They burst onto the scene in the Summer of 2017, seemingly out of nowhere, and became the focus (pun intended) of young people everywhere. Fidgets, though, have been around forever. From the Chinese baoding balls (sometimes called Chinese Stress Balls) created in the 14th century to greek worry beads known as kompoloi which were used by monks 800 years ago to todays fidgets spinners and cubes, there have always been outlets for human’s insatiable need to fidget.

What is A Fidget?

A fidget is any sort of object that people fiddle with to help them to maintain their focus on something else. As described in more detail in the video below, a fidget is a kind of coping mechanism.

The science is still out on why fidgets work. One theory is that fidgets occupy our “floating attention.” We all have what is called “floating attention” which is that little bit of attention that is placed away from our principal activity no matter what we are doing. For some people, their floating attention isn’t well regulated and gets spread across tons of activities. Using a fidget gives that “floating attention” something to focus on which allows you to focus better on the primary items of focus.

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October 2, 2018by Wayne Stocks
Coping Skills

Pool Noodle Fidget Toys

Pool Noodle Stress RelieversPool Noodle Fidget Toys are an easy DIY project you can make for, or with, your kids. They are cheaper than fidget spinners, squishies and other fidget toys, and you can mass produce them with relative ease. I’ve worked with kids for years, and for many of those years I was in charge of games with a large group of students. Ever since that time, I’ve kept a box of pool noodles in my basement, because you never know when you’re going to need them! (FYI, you can get a box fairly cheap after summer is over). A standard pool noodle can be used to create 42 fidget toys. Here’s all you need to know:

63 inches – 42 stress relievers

Items Need For Project

  • Pool Noodles
  • Scissors or a Knife
  • Ruler
  • Pencil

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April 5, 2018by Wayne Stocks
Coping Skills, Emotions

Please Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff (Coping Skills)

Please Don't Sweat The Small Stuff

The first step in helping kids (or anyone for that matter) to deal with and process the difficult emotions in their lives is to help them understand and name emotions. At Hope 4 Hurting Kids, we use the Super Simple Feelings Management Technique for that. Once we have helped kids to understand their emotions, we need to provide them with means for dealing with those emotions.

The second step towards emotional maturity and healing is to develop a robust set of coping skills. Coping Skills are designed to help “take the edge” of emotions and assist us in dealing with them. Unfortunately, that moment when a young person is drowning in emotions is not the right time to start thinking about coping mechanisms. Instead, it is important that kids and teens have at their disposal a tool box full of coping mechanisms that work for them that they can draw from in a time of crisis.

At Hope 4 Hurting Kids, we’ve developed another mnemonic to help keep track of the many different types of coping mechanism. This time we borrowed from the title of a popular book series by Richard Carlson. The different types of coping skills can be readily recalled by remembering the phrase:

Please Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff

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July 25, 2017by Wayne Stocks
Coping Skills

Using A Scream Box to Alleviate Anger, Fear and Stress

Scream BoxA Scream Box is a fun and effective way to vent some of those intense emotions that build up inside like anger, fear and stress. While breathing, physical activity and talking about it are great ways to help deal difficult emotions, sometimes you just need to scream! Handled correctly, this can be a therapeutic way to vent some of that frustration. Screaming however is not always socially acceptable or appropriate. That’s where the Scream Box comes in handy.

The pictures in this article are of a scream box my 13 year-old daughter made.

You can decorate your box however you want, but here are the basic steps:

1. Gather up the following ingredients:
– Cereal box (preferably an empty one).
– Cardboard tube from inside a roll of paper towels.
– Old newspaper or packing paper (regular paper or tissue paper can also work)
– Tape (duct tape works best, but packing tape will also suffice)
– Construction paper or wrapping paper to cover the cereal box
– Items to decorate your box (markers, pencils, stickers, glitter or whatever you want to use)

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May 18, 2017by Wayne Stocks
Coping Skills

Put Anger in the Cross Hairs (How Target Practice Can Help Kids Deal With Anger)

Target Practice

You might think that the anger and target practice probably shouldn’t go together. However, when it comes to kids taking some target practice can be an effective way of both venting anger and discussing a child’s anger with them so they can explain it better. Here is how this great idea, which we found originally on Little Birdie Secrets, works:

Hand Drawn Target

  1. Draw a series of concentric circles on a large sheet of paper or white board to create a target. You can have the child make their own target if you have some time and let them decorate it however they want.
  2. Have them write or draw things on the target that make them angry. As they do, talk to them about each item and how they’ve dealt with that anger in the past.
  3. Have the child throw something at the target. Anything soft will do – you don’t want to break anything, but the physical activity of throwing something also helps to alleviate anger. Foam balls are a great option. I use the puffer balls shown below. I got a dozen of them on Amazon for around $10 and use them for a variety of activities.

Puffer Balls

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February 13, 2017by Wayne Stocks
Coping Skills

Using an Anger Catcher to Help Kids Deal With Anger

Anger Catcher

Anger is an almost universal emotion. If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been angry at some point, and kids are no exception. Kids get angry for any variety of reasons.

  • It could be family related turmoil – like when their parents divorce. In fact, it is one of the most universal reactions we see in kids when they experience any sort of family transitions. When visitation arrangements change, kids get mad. When dad doesn’t pick them up for his time with them, they get angry. When mom starts dating some new guy, they begin to boil. When they have to move, change schools, deal with new siblings, listen to one parent bash another, and on and on and on, they get angry.
  • It could be a reaction to stress – from school or family or sports or just not having time to be kids. Kids today are more stressed than ever, and anger is a typical reaction to stress.
  • It could be in response to fear – about what is going to happen in the future, how a family situation is going to turn out, how the kids at school will react, feeling embarrassed or any number of other things.

The list is endless, and teaching kids how to deal with anger and coping mechanisms they can safely use as they move from irritated to annoyed to angry to enraged is critical to helping them move past the anger and deal with other underlying emotions.

This craft from the website Home Stories A to Z is an awesome tool for helping kids both to deal with anger they are currently feeling and to deal with future bouts with anger. The instructions are simple (and included on the template):

  • Download the template from this site.
  • Color the various triangles on the sheet. If you want the colors to match as you use the anger catcher, color the number and coping mechanism the same color as is printed in the triangle between them. We didn’t do this as we were making our anger catchers, and it doesn’t make a difference in its use.
  • Fold each corner towards the center of the page so that the numbers and color names are facing you.
  • Turn over the anger catcher
  • Fold each corner into the center so that only the color names are visible.
  • Fold the anger catcher in half so that the color names touch and the numbers are on the outside.

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December 13, 2016by Wayne Stocks
H4HK Help Centers

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