Family

Before there was a Hope 4 Hurting Kids, we were helping kids from divorced homes and other types of modern families under the names Divorce Ministry 4 Kids and I Am A Child of Divorce. While the number and types of kids and teens that we help has expanded, our commitment and passion for helping kids who have experienced the loss of family disruption has not. Here you will find the vast (and expanding) library of information and resources dedicated to all sorts of modern families and other family issues. If you want to limit your search to one area, please click on one of the options below.

Father Daughter Dance
Who’s Missing From the Dance?
A few years back, my then nine-year old daughter (Lyndsey) and I went to her school’s Father/Daughter Mother/Son Valentine’s Day Dance. I brought her flowers and she had a corsage. I ironed a shirt and put on my suit. She got dressed up, and we headed off for the elementary school gym. When we got there (we were fashionably late), the place was packed. The second we walked in the door, my daughter announced, “Bye, I’m going to find my friends,” So, I had plenty of time to survey the room. There were several whole families there where the father ...
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Adjust to Stepparents
Helping Teens Adjust to Stepparents (KidsHealth.org)
"Helping Teens Adjust to Stepparents" from the TeensHealth portion of KidHealth.org helps teens deal with adjusting to having a new stepparent.  Many times adjusting to a parent dating and/or getting remarried can be harder than the initial divorce.  The article does not sugar coat the situation: In some families, new adults and kids seem to fit in easily, as though they've been there all along. But some families brought together through marriage can be so different that the best everyone can do is grit their teeth and work hard to get through a weekend together...Sometimes a stepparent can feel like a ...
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Looking Like Your Father
Who Am I? (When Looking Like Your Father is a Bad Thing)
Imagine looking like your father and being proud of that fact. Perhaps at some point in your young life your grandmother proudly said to her friends, “This is Sonny’s boy. Doesn’t he look just like Sonny?” And all of her friends proclaim that yes you were the spitting image of your father and you even look a lot like your grandfather. A smile crept up on your face as you listened to this talk. Maybe you have your mother’s talent. She plays the piano and you are also musically inclined. Your mother sang a solo in the annual Christmas cantata ...
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My Family's Changing Activity Book for Teens
My Family’s Changing Activity Book for Teens
Click here to download the My Family's Changing Activity Book for Teens. Background The "My Family's Changing Activity Book for Teens" was developed and published by Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) in England. “Every year Cafcass helps over 140,000 children and young people who are going through care or adoption proceedings, or whose parents have separated and are unable to agree about future arrangements for their children. Cafcass is the voice of children in the family courts and helps to ensure that children’s welfare is put first during proceedings.” The book starts by explaining why this ...
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connected
5 Ways to Keep Connected With Your Kids After Divorce
Divorce is a time for disconnect. It’s not uncommon for you to feel alone, rejected and insecure in the months following your divorce. So can your children. It is important for you to strengthen your bond with your children during this time of transition – whether you are living with them or apart. Children want to know they are still loved, valued and cared about. Show them, tell them and keep in close communication with them – during the happy times and the sad ones. They need to know they have a safe place to turn, a shoulder to cry ...
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school teacher
What Should Divorcing Parents Tell a School Teacher About the Situation?
When a couple divorces, many times they try to keep it quiet. It might be they are embarrassed or feel it is their private business. More than likely though, they are so overwhelmed with the many decisions, they don’t think about telling other people. A lot of times the school teacher or childcare teachers are the last to know. Many parents just don’t think about alerting these people. Schoolteachers and childcare staff are the very people that need to know because they are the ones a child spends the most time with when away from home. If you are a ...
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two happy homes
Parenting After Divorce: Help Your Kids Adjust to Two Happy Homes
All human beings are resistant to change. It’s especially difficult for children. One of the greatest disruptions in a child’s life can be the upheaval caused by divorce. For this reason it is incumbent on you, as a parent, to do everything possible day by day, month by month, to help your children adjust, assimilate into their new routines and accept the changes in their lives in the most positive possible ways. To do that, you must be committed to putting your children’s physical, emotional and psychological needs foremost in your mind and heart. In that way, you will make ...
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Dating After Divorce
Advice for Parents on Dating After Divorce
"Advice for Parents on Dating After Divorce" is a little bit on the simplistic side when it comes to advice about dating after a divorce, but if you are in that position it does offer some solid advice for how to make it easier on your kids. Here is an excerpt from the article: You thought dating was hard the first time? Here you are, single again, but this time with children. You finally meet someone you really, really like and want to introduce him to your kids. How do you go about it? What if your youngsters don’t like ...
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Judith Wallerstein
A Personal Tribute to Judith Wallerstein
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: In the area of children of divorce, there are few people who have been as influential as Judith Wallerstein. Her groundbreaking study and work has paved the way for those of us who work with children of divorce. Ms. Wallerstein passed away last week at the age of 90. Though she is now gone, her work and her influence will live on – hopefully sparking others to carry the mantle for children of divorce. One of our regular contributors - Linda Ranson Jacobs - was fortunate enough to interact with Ms. Wallerstein when she was developing ...
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My Family's Changing Activity Book for Children
My Family’s Changing Activity Book for Children
Click here to download My Family's Changing Activity Book for Children. Background The "My Family's Changing Activity Book for Children" was developed and published by Cafcass (Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service) in England. “Every year Cafcass helps over 140,000 children and young people who are going through care or adoption proceedings, or whose parents have separated and are unable to agree about future arrangements for their children. Cafcass is the voice of children in the family courts and helps to ensure that children’s welfare is put first during proceedings.” The book starts with the very important observation: ...
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Guide for Teachers
A Guide for Teachers on Helping Children Adjust to Divorce (MU Extension)
From MU Extension at the University of Missouri-Columbia, "A Guide for Teachers on Helping Children Adjust to Divorce" is a guide designed specifically for school teachers on helping children deal with their parents’ divorce. The article explains: Schools can play an important role in helping children make a positive adjustment to their parents' divorce. This guide suggests ways that schools, preschools and childcare centers can support children through difficult family transitions. By working together, families and schools can form a network of support that promotes healthy child development. The resource covers four key elements which drive a successful family-school relationship: ...
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Children of Divorce Deal With Stress
Practical Ways to Help Children of Divorce Deal With Stress
Divorce for children can be considered one of the highest stressors children face in our world today. In order to help children learn and retain information, we need to help them learn to de-stress. While teachers in schools have been learning much about brain based learning, the flow hasn’t always come across to church leaders and teachers. We are learning that when children are experiencing fear or feeling anxious, they are not in the right frame of mind to learn. In the article entitled “Create a Safe Climate for Learning” Tip #1 on Six Tips for Brain-Based Learning (Edutopia.org), they ...
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