Family

Before there was a Hope 4 Hurting Kids, we were helping kids from divorced homes and other types of modern families under the names Divorce Ministry 4 Kids and I Am A Child of Divorce. While the number and types of kids and teens that we help has expanded, our commitment and passion for helping kids who have experienced the loss of family disruption has not. Here you will find the vast (and expanding) library of information and resources dedicated to all sorts of modern families and other family issues. If you want to limit your search to one area, please click on one of the options below.

Affected By the Economy
Look Out As Single Parents Are Affected By the Economy
A few weeks ago I had three single moms in one of my single parent groups weeping. Why were they weeping? Because it was in the heat of the government shut down, and they were worried about how they were going to feed their children given the current economy and their circumstances. Our church has a food pantry and I could make sure their children didn’t go hungry but really the issue of feeding their children wasn’t the main problem. The main problem was their perception about the situation. Perception is a funny thing sometimes, especially when you are Divorced ...
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Doing Harm
What If a Divorced Parent Came to Your Church Intent on Doing Harm?
What would you do if a divorced parent you knew came into your church armed and with the intent of doing harm? It is sad to think we have to worry about protecting our children at church. However, it is a must if you want to provide a safe place for children. There have been cases where an armed person or a shooter has walked into a church building with the intent to do harm. Churches can become targets for people of rage, divorce, discontent and those on some sort of substance. Some of these people are trying to make ...
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Heart-Felt Connections
Children of Divorce Need Heart-Felt Connections
Have you ever had a child get attached to you? I’ve had children who I knew were connected to me emotionally. I always hated it when I had to move and leave those kids behind. For the child of divorce though it is a little different kind of connection. They become attached to not only you but also to their memory of you. You might call it a heart-felt connection. And they hold onto this memory for years. In their minds they know where they can find you and while you might not see them for years, they know you ...
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Helping Kids Minister
Helping Kids Minister to Other Children of Divorce
If you have ever worked in the nursery at church you have observed altruism in the very young. Babies who can crawl and toddlers will do their best to comfort a crying newcomer. They will do this by crawling over and handing the other child their pacifier or their blankie. You might say they extend the hand of welcome to newcomers who are distraught. When I had my infant / toddler rooms in my childcare I loved to observe the interaction of these little people. I believe God created our brains and their brains to want to comfort others. We ...
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Smile Makes A Difference
A Smile Makes A Difference
When my grandson was three years old, I moved into my daughter’s house and lived there for a year while she was deployed to Afghanistan. One thing I noticed is the three year-old had a smile all the time. This little kid was one happy little guy. He even smiled most of the time when he was in trouble. His smile and happiness rarely got him out of trouble, but he just kept smiling anyway. I learned a lot from this three year-old – stop and smile every once in awhile. I notice when I smile I seem to just ...
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Talk About the Girlfriend
How Would You Encourage a Single Mom to Talk About the Girlfriend?
Recently I got a text from a single mom. She is just starting the divorce journey. She has moved into an apartment and is making great strides in developing a healthy single parent home. This mom does not want the divorce but sometimes things are out of one’s control. Her kids are going with their dad to another state to visit the girlfriend. Mom wanted to know what she should tell her kids before they leave with the dad. The children do not know about the girlfriend. They don’t know why their parents are getting a divorce. The boys love ...
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Allowing Children of Divorce to Disciple
Allowing Children of Divorce to Disciple and Minister
Many times when one reads articles or post about kids of divorce, we read about hurting children. However, we have hundreds of children in our churches that are healing from the devastation of divorce. These are kids whose parents have kept them in church. Have you considered allowing children of divorce to disciple and minister to other hurting kids? These are also the children that been through DC4K, Divorce Care for Kids. These are the kids that are back on their feet. They have crossed the victory line so to speak. While they will always have to deal with the ...
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heart attack
Kids Have a Heart Attack?
We don't usually think about little children having a heart attack. The kind of heart attack I’m talking about is affecting thousands of children. It is the emotional and spiritual heart attack they experience when their family falls apart. The family could be a divorcing family or a never married family. To a child, it makes no difference if their parents were legally married or involved in a co-habitation situation. For years children have told me their hearts hurt. When I ask them where it hurts, they will lay their little hands over their hearts and say, “It hurts right ...
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But Card
When Children of Divorce Play the “But Card”
Children who make the following statements might be confused about whose authority they are supposed to follow. Another scenario is they might be trying to play one parent against the other. We call it playing the "but card." “But Dad wouldn't do it that way.” “But mom lets us have it.” “But dad said if we didn’t want to go to bed early we don’t have to. He said so.” “But mom said we have to do our homework as soon as we get home. She said if it's a problem for you to call her.” When a single parent ...
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lies
Ask Me No Questions and I’ll Tell You No Lies
Unfortunately children of divorce have a lot of questions to ask but many times they don’t know whom to ask. When they do ask, many are told lies or maybe not really lies but half-truths. Children need the truth not lies or made up stories. I have always advocated that children be told the truth on their developmental level. Never should they be told sordid details about the other parent. Single parents need to protect the child and the other parent’s image. The other parent is just that – the child’s other parent. The child is not the one divorcing ...
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nothing was right
When Nothing Was Right
One time I was working with the cutest little single parent family. There were three children. Michael was the middle child in between two bossy sisters. One morning he was really grouchy. Nothing was right. His clothes bothered him. He didn’t like his breakfast. His paper kept moving around when he was trying to draw a picture. He was mad at both sisters and people were just getting in his way and bothering him. After putting up with his tirades for most of the morning his big sister said, “Michael what is wrong with you? You have been grouchy all ...
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Single Parent Get Unstuck
Helping the Single Parent Get Unstuck
Many divorcing single parents seem to get stuck in dealing with finances, in relationships, in the past, in helping their children and in many other ways. Have you ever thought about how to get those single parents unstuck? I just had a long conversation with a single mom who feels like she is stuck and can’t get unstuck. She has reached out to her church where she is a member. She has reached out to the church where she attended DivorceCare. One of the Christian women said to her recently, “I don’t understand why your financial situation hasn’t changed? What’s ...
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