Linda Ranson Jacobs is a good friend. She has been a mentor and you’ll find many of her articles and insights here on Hope 4 Hurting Kids. One of the positions she holds very strongly that gets an awful lot of feedback is that rewards based behavior system do not work. She has written a couple of articles about it on her blog at DC4K:

A Class Without Stickers! Are You Kidding Me? (Part 1)

and

A Class Without Stickers! Are You Kidding Me? (Part 2) Continue reading

One of my favorite Bible verses is:

Be still and know that I am God. – Psalm 46:10

With four kids, two dogs and a busy live, I find myself surrounded by constant motion and constant noise. This time of year, that only intensifies. In the midst of all of that, is important to remember to find time for silence. So, this Christmas, those of us here at Hope 4 Hurting Kids wish you and yours a:

Silent Christmas

As I was pondering all of that this week and driving to work, I happened to listen to a podcast called Where There’s Smoke. I have listened to it for a while now and like it more and more each week. This particular episode was called “Soaking in the Holidays (Feeling).” In this episode, after a brief introduction, Brett and Nick discuss what to do if you’re feeling down this Christmas season and then explore the importance of silence (and the peace it brings) at Christmas. In the hustle and bustle of Christmas, I encourage you to take some time to listen to this very helpful podcast and to embrace the silence of the season.

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Dear Hurting Child,

This weekend is Christmas! You probably knew that all ready. The malls have been decked out in red and green for well over a month now. Traffic is crazy, and you don’t even want to venture into the local store to do any last minute Christmas shopping (Trust me! I know!). Children have sent their Christmas wish lists to the North Pole. Parents have fretted over how to ensure that their kids get all that they want for Christmas. Stockings have been hung, Christmas Trees decorated, cookies baked and carols sung. There is no avoiding the spectacle that Christmas has become in our country.

All over this country this weekend, indeed all over the world, kids will open presents. Parents will take time out of their busy schedules to spend time rejoicing in the joy and happiness of their children. Stocking will be emptied, presents will be exchanged, laughter will be heard, and people will enjoy time together with family and close friends. Indeed, Christmas has become a time where family is celebrated and togetherness has become the ultimate goal.

Yet for many of you, we know that Christmas does not bring warm tidings of great joy. It comes with memories of the way Christmas used to be or maybe the way you wish it should be. It comes with decisions about who to spend this most important day with and desires for people long sense out of lives. For some it brings an overwhelming sense of loneliness even as they spend the day in the company of many people. We understand that Christmas can be a very stressful time for you and your families as you struggle with less time, less money and less togetherness. If Christmas is all about families and togetherness, then for many people it will not be much of a celebration at all these days.

But, that is not the end of the story. See, if Christmas is all about family and great tidings of good joy, then it is understandable why there might not be much there for you. But, Christmas is about so much more than that. Christmas is about the Creator of the Universe giving up everything He had in heaven to come to earth as a helpless infant. He gave up the adoration and worship of a multitude of angel for a dirty stable and a manger for a bed. He gave perfect union with the Heavenly Father to come and walk amongst His creation, and ultimately to be rejected by those He had given life.

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This week’s weekend reading is on a topic I had never heard of before seeing this article (8 Steps to Companioning). It is something called companioning. I don’t know all the details, but it appears to be very similar to the idea of mentoring or discipleship. Read through this article from Christian Works and think about how it might apply to your work with kids.

Ideas for Further Thought and Discussion

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For many of us, Christmas is a joyous time filled memories of Christmases gone by, but for many children the season brings all kinds of additional stressors and emotions.  This includes children spending this holiday season suffering through their parents divorced, with absentee parent(s) and under tremendous stress for any variety of reasons.

At Hope 4 Hurting Kids, we’ve put together the following simple infographic to help you help hurting and stressed out children navigate this Christmas season.  It includes an explanation as to why Christmas is not always the “Most Wonderful Time of the Year” for kids, tips for parents and others for helping children this season and a brief reminder of what Christmas is really all about.  This resource is intended for parents, children’s pastors and anyone else who work with children.

Please click on the graphic below for a larger pdf version of the resource for printing.

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When you work with kids who are hurting from any variety of circumstances, it is important to know when you are in “over your head” and when you need to seek professional help for the child.

Know your limitations

For those us who are passionate about helping kids and/or who have worked with kids for some time, we sometimes want to do it all ourselves to make sure that child we are working with is helped. It’s easy to lose site of the fact that sometimes our ability and skills just aren’t enough. If we really want to help these kids, we need to be able to recognize when we need to get a Professional Counselor, Psychologist or Psychiatrist involved.

If you work closely with kids, there will be times when you will need to be prepared to refer a child to a professional. You should be prepared for this eventuality by compiling and keeping a list of Christian Counselor and other professionals in your area that you can refer kids (and their families) to.

Know the Signs that Professional Help May Be Needed

If a child your are working with exhibits any of the following signs consistently, you should consider the need to refer to another professional: Continue reading

One new feature on Hope 4 Hurting Kids will be our “Weekend Reading.” Every (read most) weekend, we will provide a link related to working with distressed and hurting children. Sometimes these links provide useful information on working with hurting kids. Other times they will be meant to get you thinking or spark a conversation. As an added bonus, we are presenting our first and last Saturday Link on Tuesday to celebrate Divorce Ministry 4 Kids becoming Hope 4 Hurting Kids.

This is a great article about working with kids in a church setting. So, what are your rules about mentoring and counseling kids and teens?