Divorce for children can be considered one of the highest stressors children face in our world today. In order to help children learn and retain information, we need to help them learn to de-stress. While teachers in schools have been learning much about brain based learning, the flow hasn’t always come across to church leaders and teachers.

We are learning that when children are experiencing fear or feeling anxious, they are not in the right frame of mind to learn. In the article entitled “Create a Safe Climate for Learning” Tip #1 on Six Tips for Brain-Based Learning (Edutopia.org), they explain:

“In layman’s terms, stress scrambles the learning circuits.”

During periods of stress or fear, the amygdale (the part of the brain that processes emotions and stores the memories of emotional reactions) responds to a perceived threat by blocking the flow of information to the learning centers of the brain.

Stress Balloons are a unique homemade alternative to the traditional stress ball that you can make with a child while talking to them about what is causing the stress in their lives. The instructions below use flour to fill the balloons. Use can also use rice, small beans or sand. These stress balloons can be a valuable soothing tool in a child’s Coping Tool Box.

What You Need to Make Stress Balloons

• A package of balloons.
• Flour (2/3 of a cup to a cup for each balloon)
• Funnel (or a water bottle)
• Pen or pencil
• Sharpie Marker
• Scissors

How to Make Stress Balloons

Pool Noodle Fidget Toys are an easy DIY project you can make for, or with, your kids. They are cheaper than fidget spinners, squishies and other fidget toys, and you can mass produce them with relative ease. I’ve worked with kids for years, and for many of those years I was in charge of games with a large group of students. Ever since that time, I’ve kept a box of pool noodles in my basement, because you never know when you’re going to need them! (FYI, you can get a box fairly cheap after summer is over). A standard pool noodle can be used to create 42 fidget toys. Here’s all you need to know:

63 inches – 42 stress relievers

Items Need For Project

• Pool Noodles
• Scissors or a Knife
• Ruler
• Pencil

Last week we discussed what was happening in the brains of children that are fearful or scared. This week let’s expand that concept and look at stress and the brain.

What is Stress?

Stress is the body’s way of reacting to challenging events, one of which for children is the divorce of their parents. Stress in children can affect them physically, emotionally and mentally.

Stress and the Child of Divorce

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if every little kid who had divorcing parents showed up in your class stress free? There would be no fighting, arguing or yelling. All the kids would want to be involved. They would want to form community and care for one another. The group would ooze kindness.

Impossible you say? I beg to differ. Many children who live in divorcing and stressed out families don’t know how not to be stressed. It is their way of life and, like we’ve said before, they will bring that chaos and stress with them. However, there are things we can do to alleviate some of their stress.

I want to share a few important tips I have learned down through the years.

• Always, and I mean every time, have someone at the door to greet each child and do so with a hello ritual. That might be a high-five, fist bump, hug, handshake, elbow bump or just a “Hello (insert child’s name). So glad you are joining us today.”
• Put on your most joyful face. Joy is contagious so feel free to share your joy. There is always more where it came from.
• If you don’t have a joyful face – fake it. Even faking joyful and happy feelings will help a child with a neuron-to-neuron connection. It’s called mirror neurons.
• Be prepared in advance and have everything in the room you will need and things laid out in an orderly fashion. When you leave the room, the children think you are leaving them for something more important. Nothing is more important than the children.

In this TED talk from Kelly McGonigal asks whether it is stress itself or how we think about stress that is harmful to our bodies. As you listen to this informative TED talk, think about how you talk about stress with the kids in your life. How they approach the stress in their lives can have a serious impact on how they deal with it.

A Scream Box is a fun and effective way to vent some of those intense emotions that build up inside like anger, fear and stress. While breathing, physical activity and talking about it are great ways to help deal difficult emotions, sometimes you just need to scream! Handled correctly, this can be a therapeutic way to vent some of that frustration. Screaming however is not always socially acceptable or appropriate. That’s where the Scream Box comes in handy.

The pictures in this article are of a scream box my 13 year-old daughter made.

You can decorate your box however you want, but here are the basic steps:

1. Gather up the following ingredients:
– Cereal box (preferably an empty one).
– Cardboard tube from inside a roll of paper towels.
– Old newspaper or packing paper (regular paper or tissue paper can also work)
– Tape (duct tape works best, but packing tape will also suffice)
– Construction paper or wrapping paper to cover the cereal box
– Items to decorate your box (markers, pencils, stickers, glitter or whatever you want to use)

In this installment of our series of one page guides for helping children to deal with difficult emotions, we look at helping children to deal with Stress. Click here or on the picture above for a pdf version of this graphic.

Stress is a huge issue for all kids in our society today. The levels of stress amongst children from disrupted homes though is through the roof. Dealing with things like fighting parents, complex schedules, new homes, new family members, stressed out parents, packed schedules and so much more can leave kids and teens from disrupted homes with lots a stress and little time. One simple solution which works amazing well with younger kids (though you may be surprised how well it can work with older kids too) is a simple container of bubbles. Here are a couple of ideas of how to use bubbles to help kids deal with stress.

Visualization With Bubbles

Bubbles are a great way to help kids visualize their emotions. Whether they are experiencing anger, stress, fear or other emotions, encourage the children to visualize each bubble as a negative emotion and watch it float away. Talk about the things that are stressing them out and encourage them to release those things in the bubbles as they float away. For younger children, allow them to stomp on the bubbles as they land on the ground. In addition to being a good visual reminder of letting things go rather than keeping them buried inside, the process of blowing the bubbles also encourages deep breathing.

Bubble Karate Master

Kids these days are stressed. There are a multitude of different ways to help kids deal with stress, but there is one very simple stress reliever that you’ve probably all tried at one point or another – packaging bubbles. Despite Amazon and many other online stores abandoning this joy inducing packaging in their boxes, it’s still pretty easy to get you hands on the old-fashioned bubble wrap (check out your local office supply store, do it yourself moving store or big box retailer).

I like to have a little fun with it and make a label for the bubble wrap. I keep a handful on hand to pass out to stressed out kids (and adults). Here’s a picture of the stress reliever we put together (I printed the labels; my son and daughter cut the bubble wrap and stapled the labels to the bubbles).

Here’s what our label says:

STRESS RELIEF