H4HK FAQs: Was My Parents’ Divorce My Fault?
H4HK FAQs are designed to answer questions kids and teens ask when facing difficult situations and circumstances in their lives.
If you are wondering if your parents’ divorce or separation is your fault, you are not alone. Most children of divorce at some point believe that their parents’ split up had something to do with them. Maybe you think if you had behaved better they would still be together. Perhaps you wonder if you weren’t involved in so many extra-curricular activities if they wouldn’t fight so much and would still be together. Maybe something happened on the day your parents told you about the split, and you’re convinced that what you did that day caused them to split up. Regardless of why you think you caused your parents’ divorce, there is one thing that you need to know for certain:
CHILDREN DO NOT CAUSE DIVORCES, ADULTS DO!
In other words:
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!
Divorce is an adult problem and a decision made by one or both of your parents. You did not cause it, and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it. That’s why we developed the W.I.S.H. worksheet below. This two page worksheet is designed to help you to work through why you view your parents’ divorce as your fault and understand that it is not. In four easy steps, you can help yourself to move past the guilt that you have been carrying. Those four steps are:
- What caused the divorce?
- I did nothing wrong.
- Say Something
- Help Others
Click on either of the images below for a printable pdf version of this worksheet.
FOR THE ADULTS: If you are printing this worksheet for kids, consider printing it on the front and back of one page.H4HK FAQs Page. For more resources and information on divorce, family disruption and modern families please visit our Hope 4 Hurting Kids Divorce and Modern Family Help Center.