H4HK FAQs: Where Was God When My Parents Got Divorced?

Where Was God

H4HK FAQs are designed to answer questions kids and teens ask when facing difficult situations and circumstances in their lives.

That is a fair question, and if you’ve gone to church and/or believe in God you may very well have asked yourself that question since your parents separated or got divorced.  Where was God?  Why didn’t He stop the divorce?  Why didn’t He answer my prayers?  Maybe you even blame your parents’ divorce on God?  Maybe you wonder how a loving God could let your family fall apart like it has.

In order to understand where God was when your parents divorced, you must first understand God’s view of divorce and His love for all people.

God Hates Divorce

The Bible is clear that God hates divorce.  He hates all sin, and divorce is a sin.  Divorce is one of many sins that God does not like, but sin is basically anything that God wants us to do that we don’t do and things He doesn’t want us to do that we do.  This sin separates us from God and can hurt us and/or the people around us which is one of the reasons God hates it.

God didn’t design a world where moms and dads would not get married or would get married and then just decide to walk away.  If you are upset of the disruption and changes in your family, you can rest assured that God is even more upset about them.  If you are sad about those changes, know that God understands your pain and grieves over the situation you are in.  It is not the way He designed things to be, but it the result of people choosing not to follow Him.

If God Hates Divorce, Why Did He Let My Parents Get Divorced?

So, if God really hates divorce, why would He let your parents divorce in the first place?  The answer is something called free-will.  An all-powerful God could make people love Him and follow Him, but what kind of love or choice would it really be if you couldn’t choose not to love Him or not to obey Him?  God doesn’t want us to listen to Him just because He said so but because we choose to.  The same is true for your family.  God’s desire is that families are functional and stay together and reflect the same kind a sacrificial love He has for us, but He will not force that on anyone.

Your Parents’ Divorce Doesn’t Change God’s View of You

So, if divorce is a sin and God hates sin, does that mean that you are in some way tainted by your parents’ divorce or separation?  The answer is no.  God loves you, and your parents.  God knows that the divorce was not your choice or your fault, and it doesn’t change how He views you.  As for your parents, God is in the business of forgiveness.  He sent His Son (Jesus) to come to Earth and live a perfect life to die for us to pay the penalty that our sins deserve.  When we choose to accept that gift, to accept that sacrifice made on our behalf, our sins our forgiven.

Why didn’t God Answer My Prayers?

If you pray, chances are that at some point you prayed for your parents to get back together (or to get together in the first place if they’ve never been together).  So, why didn’t God answer that prayer?  That’s a fair question.  The answer is that God answers all prayers.  He either answers them, “Yes,” “No,” or “Not Yet.”  He knows what is best for you and your parents, and He always answers prayers with our best interests in mind.  We might not always understand the answer, and it might not be the answer you want, but you can rest assured that He has heard your prayer and answered it in the way that is best for you and everyone else.

Find answers to other frequently asked questions on our H4HK FAQs Page. For more resources and information on divorce, family disruption and modern families please visit our Hope 4 Hurting Kids Divorce and Modern Family Help Center.

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Written by Wayne Stocks
Wayne is the founder and executive director of Hope 4 Hurting Kids. He is a happily married father of four kids with a passion for helping young people who are going through rough times. In addition to Hope 4 Hurting Kids, Wayne previously started I Am A Child of Divorce and Divorce Ministry 4 Kids to help kids who are dealing with the disruption of their parents' relationship. These are now part of Hope 4 Hurting Kids. Wayne speaks frequently at conferences and churches on issues related to helping kids learn to deal with difficult emotions and life in modern families. Wayne lives with his wife, three youngest kids, three dogs and an insane collection of his kids' other pets outside of Columbus, Ohio. In addition to his work with Hope 4 Hurting Kids, Wayne is a partner in a local consulting firm, an avid reader, coaches his son's soccer team and is a proud supporter of Leicester City Football Club (and yes, for those in know, his affinity for the club does predate the 2016 championship). You can reach Wayne at wayne@hope4hurtingkids.com.