Family

The Rise of Cohabitation On August 16th, 2011, the 3rd edition, in their Why Marriage Matters (a joint publication of The National Marriage Project and The Center for Marriage and Families) was released. This report subtitled, “Thirty Conclusions from the Social Sciences,” puts most of its focus on the issue of cohabitation.  The report starts with a startling observation: Today, the rise of cohabiting households with children is the largest unrecognized threat to the quality and stability of children’s family lives. The report explains that cohabitation has seen an unprecedented fourteen-fold increase since 1970. A child today is more likely ...

I have worked with children of divorce for over thirty years and all around the country. I started out on the West Coast in the 1970s, moved to mid American in the 80s and 90s, and then to the East Coast beginning in 2002. I’ve heard some conversations that would curl your hair. I’ve also heard stories of tenderness and tales of heartbreak. Sharing these personal stories of children of divorce helps us all to get inside of their hearts and minds so that we may serve them better. Part of our mission at Hope 4 Hurting Kids is to help ...

There is not doubt that families are changing. In his article 5 Facts You Need to Know About American Families, Dale Hudson shares five statistics about how families have changed and offers advice on how to make sure your church is relevant to today's families. Questions for Further Reflection or Discussion Did any of the statistics in the article surprise you? Have any of these statistics impacted your family? Which changes do you consider good? Why? Which changes do you consider to be negative? Why? How has your community and/or church responded to these changes? ...

Several years ago, I had a child in our DC4K (Divorce Care for Kids) group who accepted Christ as her personal Savior.  She wanted to follow in baptism. The child’s dad was not in the picture, but the mom was all for her daughter being baptized. This child had experienced a chaotic home life along with some unspeakable abuse from the dad. She was no longer allowed to visit her dad. In DC4K we had talked about how God will never leave you or forsake you. We had discussed how much God loves each one of us. We discussed turning ...

Attached is a pdf file with the notes from my breakout session at the 2015 CMConnect Conference titled Kids in Crisis: Ministering to Kids from Modern Families. Almost 100 showed up t learn about kids in modern families and how their churches and they individually can minister to Modern Day Orphans. If you were there and need a copy of the notes or weren’t there and are interested in learning more, the files linked below will help you. Part of the breakout was a ten question quiz. Take the quiz first, then click on the answers pdf for the answers ...

Every child of divorce is different and unique, and how you work with and for that child must be tailored to their personality, circumstances and environment. That said, there are some common things that all children of divorce need. If you work with kids, you need to be prepared to offer these to them. Likewise, as the church, we must work to ensure that our ministries and our congregants are equipped to offer these six basic needs to children from disrupted families. 1. LOVE The first thing every child of divorce needs, indeed every child for that matter, is adults ...

To watch a child learn and accept the love of a heavenly Father is an encouragement to anyone working with children. But, to watch a child who has experienced an earthly father walking out of his life accept Christ as his personal Savior and accept that there is a heavenly Father that will never leave him or forsake him is very special. I had that happen with an eight-year-old young man. In his younger years, he had what appeared to be a perfect life for a child. His parents showed him love that seemed unconditional and they disciplined him appropriately ...

Over the last ten to twenty years, there has been significant research on the effect of divorce on kids. In more recent years, the volume of studies on children from other family types (cohabiting families, grandparent led families, complex families) and family transitions has increased. There is still much study which needs to be done, however the consensus seems to be that our kids are growing up in increasing complex families, and experiencing (on average) multiple transitions in the families in which they reside, and reflecting worse outcomes than kids raised in traditional two-parent married biological parent families. I wrote ...

A young single mom entered my class one Sunday close to Christmas. She was almost trembling and I could tell she was very upset. She just stood there looking at me and when I asked, What’s wrong? She said, I need a hug. Single parenting is tough almost all the time, but Sundays seem particularly hard for single parents. It could be that they are exhausted from the week and don’t have to rise as early as on the weekday so they sleep in for a few minutes or an hour. Then, it’s hard to get out of bed and ...

The past two weeks we have examined some of the short-term and long-term legacies of divorce on children. In this article we will look at ways you can help children in your church lessen the impact of some of these issues. Do Something Many children’s leaders have shared that they tend to hold back or shy away from children of divorce simply because they are afraid of making things worse for the child. Next time you face such fears, think to yourself, How much worse can anything be than to watch the two people in the world you love the ...

One of the most significant obstacles we face in ministering to hurting kids and children from disrupted homes is that they don’t tend to come to our churches. Statistically, children from ANY type of family other than married biological parents are significantly less likely to attend church. So, if you’re serious about ministering to these hurting kids, and there are tons of them no matter where you live, you have to get outside the walls of your church and take your ministry to them. Fortunately, through my work with these kids and speaking at various conferences, I have been fortunate ...

As children’s ministry leaders you may have found the article posted last week, “Understanding the Short-Term Legacies of Divorce,” interesting and relevant to the work you are currently doing with the children in your church. This week, as we discuss the long-term legacy of divorce, you might be inclined to think that understanding these is not as important as many are not likely to show up until children have left your ministry. Quite to the contrary, it is important for you to recognize the long-term legacies of divorce so that, as church leaders, you can help an individual child to ...