Family
Before there was a Hope 4 Hurting Kids, we were helping kids from divorced homes and other types of modern families under the names Divorce Ministry 4 Kids and I Am A Child of Divorce. While the number and types of kids and teens that we help has expanded, our commitment and passion for helping kids who have experienced the loss of family disruption has not. Here you will find the vast (and expanding) library of information and resources dedicated to all sorts of modern families and other family issues. If you want to limit your search to one area, please click on one of the options below.
What About My Family?
This article, which was first published in the March/April 2012 issue of K! Magazine addresses the issue of how the church should address children of divorce and children from single-parent families in the context of family ministry. Family ministry is all the buzz in the world of children’s ministry these days. It seems as though the whole children’s ministry world is painting the world orange! Deuteronomy 6 has become the “go to” verse in children’s ministry, and for good reason. There is much to be learned there. God clearly calls the family to be the primary vessel for imparting ...
Preventing A Life Frittered Away
"A life frittered away disgusts GOD; he loves those who run straight for the finish line" (Proverbs 15:9 MSG). In our world today we have many children whose parents have split or separated that will drift into a life frittered away. To "fritter away your life" means to waste a life over a period of time on things that are not worthwhile. Is there anything you can do to help these children and give them a chance to get a fresh start toward that finish line? Yes, there is! You can start thinking like God does about these children. God ...
How Divorce Can Shatter a Child’s Faith
A few years ago, I had the opportunity to teach first through fifth graders at church about the term faith. The jumping off point of our discussion was the story of Jesus and the Centurion’s servant as relayed in Matthew 8:5-13. In that story, Jesus agreed to heal the Centurion’s servant after being amazed by his faith. Matthew tells us: When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, Truly I tell you, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. [Matthew 8:10] After discussing the story, the lesson covered five questions to help ...
The Child of Loss, Shattered Lives and Broken Dreams
You may wonder why we would be talking about the child of loss on a website designed to talk about the child of divorce or cohabitating parents. Usually when you think of the child of loss you automatically think death. Have you ever thought about the child of divorce or the child of splitting cohabitating parents as a child in grief? Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. [Matthew 5:4, NIV] To the child, it is the death of their once intact family. They experience deep grief because the living environment they once knew no longer exists, ...
Where Am I Sleeping Tonight by Carol Gordon Ekster (A Review)
Introduction There are a ton of books out there for children who are experiencing their parents’ divorce. Many of them try to put a happy spin on divorce or can be summed up simply as telling kids that they “are not alone.” Both types of books do children of divorce a disservice either by trying to convince them that they shouldn’t feel like their world has been shattered or by sending the message that they should just “get over it” because there are plenty of people just like them who have gone through the same thing. Both minimize the experiences ...
The Switching Hour by Dr. Evon Flesberg (A Review)
Introduction Every year in the United States, roughly one million kids experience the divorce of their parents, witness the destruction of the only family that have ever know, and begin a new and fundamentally altered life. It is a life that was not of their choosing and a life that very few, if any, of them ever would have chosen for themselves. It is a life of constant transition – a life which reminds them over and over of their parents’ divorce. It is the beginning of a life, for many, that entails moving from the their mother’s home to ...
How Divorce Affected An Entire Generation
Generation X was raised in an environment where divorce was more rampant that at any other time in our nation’s history. That fact alone has shaped and molded an entire generation of children raised in “broken homes” and “step families.” Today, we are going to look at how divorce affected an entire generation of kids from their youth and well into their adult years. A while back on the Wall Street Journal online, I found a testimonial that really speaks to what it was like to grow up as a child of divorce. The article by Susan Gregory Thomas, titled The Divorce ...
Does Your Church Welcome Kids from Single Parent Homes?
What if a divorced single parent family suddenly showed up at your church and unknown to you they were involved in a reality show? What if you found out, would you handle things any differently than when you didn’t know? Stop and think about that for a few minutes. What attitude would you betray when you didn’t know? Most of you are probably saying, “It doesn’t make any difference as I love all children. I would welcome them like other children.” Really? Seriously? Because I’ve been at various children’s ministers’ conferences, and if I could see your face and expression ...
God, Church and the Modern Day Orphans
God has a heart for modern-day orphans. Scripture is replete with passages about how God (and His people) should feel about and act towards orphans and widows. There are still way too many orphans in the world today, and these verse no doubt apply to them. However, there is also a new kind of orphan that these passages (at least the heart of these passages) also applies to. Let's take a closer look. God Cares for Orphans and the Fatherless As Christians, our hope and prayer is that God would continue to sanctify us and make us more like Him ...
What Parents Need to Know From Kids About Divorce (A Review)
In my research into ministering to children of divorce, I have come across a number of people, and a number of organizations, dedicated to helping children of divorce. Not all of them approach it from the same ministry perspective as Hope 4 Hurting Kids, but ultimately, they are all concerned about, and have the same heart for these children. Today, I want to review a product from one such organization. About the Organization One such organization is Listen2Kids.net. Listen2Kids.net was founded by Sue Polan, MA LPC. According to their website, Sue Polan, MA LPC has 30 years experience counseling with children ...
Knowing a Family’s Situation
Recently a leader of a divorce support group contacted me which reminded me how important it is for those in the church to know a family's situation before drawing conclusions. She has a lady from another church in her group and she had received a call from this participant’s pastor. While the pastor was appreciative that my friend’s church was running DivorceCare he was concerned about the lady from his church. It seemed as though he thought his congregant was playing the system. While some single parents do “play the system,” my friend knew this lady was struggling in many ...
Ministering to Non-Traditional Families with Amy Dolan
On August 11, 2011, I had the privilege of interviewing Amy Dolan for a radio show I was hosting at time. Amy is a children's pastor / children’s ministry consultant with a passion for ministering to non-traditional families. She runs the blog Lemon Lime Kids, and has written a number of articles on the topic of non-traditional families including: a recent conversation on [non] traditional families watch your language! {non} traditional families (non) traditional families perhaps a change in direction The following are some of the questions we covered including Amy’s responses and my commentary (shown in italics) where I thought it ...