Fishing for Feelings is a fun game to play with kids to help them learn about emotions. With our template and a few magnets, you can create a game that will help preschool through elementary aged kids to Jump In! Stand Strong! Rise Up! Fishing for feelings is a great game to help kids start to master the skills included in the Super Simple Feelings Management Technique

Here’s how Fishing for Feelings works.

First download our easy to use template by clicking here or on the picture of the template to the right. Follow the instructions in the template for creating the emotion circles and playing the game.

We bought pre-made reinforced circles at Hobby Lobby and colorful magnets for minimal cost to make the game more aesthetically pleasing, but you can certainly cut your own reinforcing circles and use other magnets if you prefer. (NOTE: the link included for magnets are white as we found the color ones in our local store, but they are not available online)

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Last week, we introduced the limbic system (the emotional part of the brain) and explained how it affects children of divorce. Children in the limbic system or the emotional part of the brain wonder if they are loved. They wonder if anyone cares about them. It is all about emotions.

Divorce and the Limbic System of the Brain

When I think back to when I went through a divorce, I now realize that I lived in for many weeks in the emotional part of my brain. I couldn’t analyze or get organized, and I was late to every appointment. I even had trouble making eye contact with people because I was afraid the person I was talking to might not like me. And it didn’t end there, over the years, I know I have reverted back to that state on a number of occasions. All that, and I was an adult at the time. Think about the children coming to your church who are experiencing the divorce of their parents!

The Issue of Serotonin Production

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Learning about the emotional brain or the limbic part of the brain is an important part of working with the child of divorce. The limbic system is located in the mid part of our brain and serves many functions including:

• Generating emotions/feelings
• Directing our emotions
• Helping to motivate us
• Directing our drive
• Arousing our attachment
• Establishing the ability for us to have attachments and relationships
• Storing highly charged emotional memories
• Being territorial
• Taping events as internally important
• Controlling appetite and sleep cycles
• Storing the unconscious part of the brain (everything ever said is stored in this part of the brain)

Brain research is showing that nurturing and encouraging environments shape brains for a lifetime of healthy adjustments, to strive and thrive. Our early life wires our brain for connecting and attaching to others. Child abuse, constant stress (like that which comes from living in two homes or generally through the divorce of parents) and discouraging environments may alter brain chemistry and affect a child’s learning ability and scripture memorization.

The limbic system or the emotional brain is always asking, “Am I loved?”

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Last week we discussed what was happening in the brains of children that are fearful or scared. This week let’s expand that concept and look at stress and the brain.

What is Stress?

Stress is the body’s way of reacting to challenging events, one of which for children is the divorce of their parents. Stress in children can affect them physically, emotionally and mentally.

Stress and the Child of Divorce

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Answering the Question “Why Do We Lose Control of Our Emotions” is a key first step in helping kids understand their emotions. This is the focus of the first step of Hope 4 Hurting Kids’ Jump In! Stand Strong! Rise Up! Method (A Comprehensive Plan for Dealing With Emotions). This video from Kids Want to Know is a great explanation for kids and adults of how emotions get out of control and how our brain reacts when they do.

The video’s YouTube page explains more:
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The Brain’s Reaction to Fear

We know from the brain research and from studying the experts on brain-based learning that fear strikes at the heart of learning. When a child is fearful or feels unsafe the learning brain begins to power down so to speak. Learning becomes more difficult if not impossible.

Have you ever had something scare the daylights out of you? What were you feeling at the time? Most of us probably don’t think about what we were feeling when that car zipped through the stop light in front of us and we had to slam on our breaks. We just react to the situation. Our brains do what they were supposed to do – they react and keep us safe by helping us to slam on our breaks.

Feeling safe is a basic instinct that each person has, and fear is a basic human emotion. From the time we are born our brains are equipped with the fight or flight capability. This fight or flight capacity is found in the lower level of the brain called the brain stem. Many times we can sense or feel when something is dangerous. Fear can be intense, mild or medium depending on the situation. Fear can be brief or long lasting.

From KidsHealth.org (http://tinyurl.com/6u28czx) we read, Continue reading

We are excited to announce that at Hope 4 Hurting Kids we are hard at work on a new resource, and we are excited today to give you a sneak peek. Tentatively named “150 Emotion Words Every Child Should Know – By Age,” we hope to have this resource completed and ready for you by Spring or early Summary of 2018.

Step 2 of the Jump In! portion of our Comprehensive Emotional Management System here at Hope 4 Hurting Kids, is “Say It!” Say It! is all about helping kids to develop a robust emotional vocabulary, and we set out to create a resource to help parents and other adults to just that. While still in the developmental stage, “150 Emotion Words Every Child Should Know – By Age” will be a collection of 150 emotions, grouped by age, that every kid should know. Each entry will explore one emotion in-depth including a kid friendly definition, related emotion words, opposites and examples to help parents and other adults talk to kids about each emotion.  Additionally, emotions are grouped by age to give parents and other adults a way of gauging a particular child’s progress in understanding and naming emotions.

If you are interested in receiving a link to this resource when it is available, please fill out the short form below. This is not a “give something away free – then inundate you with emails” scheme. We simply want to make sure that if you are interested in the resource now, we get it to you when it finally comes available.

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H4HK FAQs are designed to answer questions kids and teens ask when facing difficult situations and circumstances in their lives.

Divorce is hard, and as a child divorce you may wonder if anyone else understands what you are going through.  Well, the answer is yes…and….no!

Unfortunately, lots of kids each year experience the divorce of their parents.  In fact, since 1972 roughly one million kids per year, or more, have seen their parents divorce (sometimes more than once).  Forty percent of children under the age of 18 do not live with their married biological (or adoptive) mom and dad (that’s 2 out of every five people under the age of 18).

So, the answer to the question, “Am I the only one going through this?” is no.  There are lots of other kids who are also experiencing the divorce of their parents each year.  Chances are you have cousins or friends or neighbors or schoolmates whose parents are divorced.  Plus, the divorce rate (that is the number of people getting divorced) has been high for years.  That means there are also tons of adults out there who went through the divorce of their parents when they are kids.  Many of these adults can relate to what you are going through, and have the experience to help you in your own journey.

So, there are lots of other people who know what it is like when parents divorce.  But, only you understand what it is like for YOUR parents to get divorced.  While other people may understand what it’s like to have divorced parents, only you live in your skin each day and know what is going on in your mind and in your heart.  Find a trusted adult or friend to talk to about those thoughts and feelings.  Keeping all of that inside doesn’t help you or your parents or anyone else.  Just because there are a lots of children of divorce doesn’t mean that anyone knows exactly what you are going through unless you tell them!

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Thanksgiving is now a memory and Christmas looms before us. For some kids Christmas is an exciting time of the year. For many kids Christmas may mean staying up late, no school, visits with relatives, presents and candy. As people who work with kids, we want them to find the true meaning of Christmas. The emotions of Christmas in a child of divorce may be very different than what you are used to.

Most of you will go overboard trying to relay the story of the baby Jesus and his humble birth with special lessons and activities. There will be special Christmas musicals; special holiday parties or celebrations; perhaps even caroling events also.

We want kids to come to church and enjoy the “specialness” of this time of year. That’s why I want to start early this year asking you to prepare yourself for the child of divorce. If it is a child’s first Christmas after the separation or divorce of their parents, you might want to be prepared for a variety of feelings to be exhibited. Depending on how recent the divorce was, the child may appear to be in shock, or the child may be confused not sure of what their feelings are.

If it has been several months, and the child has begun to process the divorce, you may find some anger feelings emerging in your classes. If the child feels safe with you, then don’t be surprised if a lot of anger comes out. Some children will hold their anger in when they are around their parents. They don’t want to upset their already stressed and/or angry parents. But, when they get to a safe place and if you have developed a relationship with them, then they will let their guard down and express themselves.

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These Super Simple Feelings Management Technique Activity Cards are based on Hope 4 Hurting Kids’ Super Simple Feelings Management Technique to help with emotional understanding and regulation. They are designed to be used with a variety of emotions listings of games (see a partial list above) to help young people master the five skills involved in the  Super Simple Feelings Management Technique:

1. See It!
2. Say It!
3. Feel It!
4. Mimic It!
5. Talk About It!

There are nine cards for each of the five components that will help young people to better recognize, understand and talk about their emotions. The pdf file also includes a set of blank cards if you wish to add your own activities to the pile.

How To Play

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