H4HK FAQs: Am I The Only One Going Through This?

Am I The Only One

H4HK FAQs are designed to answer questions kids and teens ask when facing difficult situations and circumstances in their lives.

Divorce is hard, and as a child divorce you may wonder if anyone else understands what you are going through.  Well, the answer is yes…and….no!

Unfortunately, lots of kids each year experience the divorce of their parents.  In fact, since 1972 roughly one million kids per year, or more, have seen their parents divorce (sometimes more than once).  Forty percent of children under the age of 18 do not live with their married biological (or adoptive) mom and dad (that’s 2 out of every five people under the age of 18).

So, the answer to the question, “Am I the only one going through this?” is no.  There are lots of other kids who are also experiencing the divorce of their parents each year.  Chances are you have cousins or friends or neighbors or schoolmates whose parents are divorced.  Plus, the divorce rate (that is the number of people getting divorced) has been high for years.  That means there are also tons of adults out there who went through the divorce of their parents when they are kids.  Many of these adults can relate to what you are going through, and have the experience to help you in your own journey.

So, there are lots of other people who know what it is like when parents divorce.  But, only you understand what it is like for YOUR parents to get divorced.  While other people may understand what it’s like to have divorced parents, only you live in your skin each day and know what is going on in your mind and in your heart.  Find a trusted adult or friend to talk to about those thoughts and feelings.  Keeping all of that inside doesn’t help you or your parents or anyone else.  Just because there are a lots of children of divorce doesn’t mean that anyone knows exactly what you are going through unless you tell them!

Find answers to other frequently asked questions on our H4HK FAQs Page. For more resources and information on divorce, family disruption and modern families please visit our Hope 4 Hurting Kids Divorce and Modern Family Help Center.

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Written by Wayne Stocks
Wayne is the founder and executive director of Hope 4 Hurting Kids. He is a happily married father of four kids with a passion for helping young people who are going through rough times. In addition to Hope 4 Hurting Kids, Wayne previously started I Am A Child of Divorce and Divorce Ministry 4 Kids to help kids who are dealing with the disruption of their parents' relationship. These are now part of Hope 4 Hurting Kids. Wayne speaks frequently at conferences and churches on issues related to helping kids learn to deal with difficult emotions and life in modern families. Wayne lives with his wife, three youngest kids, three dogs and an insane collection of his kids' other pets outside of Columbus, Ohio. In addition to his work with Hope 4 Hurting Kids, Wayne is a partner in a local consulting firm, an avid reader, coaches his son's soccer team and is a proud supporter of Leicester City Football Club (and yes, for those in know, his affinity for the club does predate the 2016 championship). You can reach Wayne at wayne@hope4hurtingkids.com.