Welcome to Part 2 of our 10 part series on child abuse and neglect. Today, we will be exploring the various types of child abuse and neglect. 

Abuse and neglect are difficult words to define as we will see later in this article when we start to examine the many different kinds of abuse. Let’s look first at what abuse and neglect are according to federal law. In a pamphlet entitled, What Is Child Abuse and Neglect?, the Child Welfare Information Gateway of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services explains that:

“Federal legislation lays the groundwork for State by identifying a minimum set of acts or behaviors that define child abuse and neglect.”

Most laws at the federal and state level cover abuse and neglect inflicted by parents and other child caregivers and do not extend to harm caused by other people which are covered under other statutes. The minimum standards set by federal law define child abuse and neglect as: Continue reading

A recent report which enumerated the risks associated with kids whose parents are cohabiting rather than married showed that one of the significant risks for children in those living arrangement was an increased chance of suffering abuse or neglect. In reviewing the statistics set forth in that report, it became evident that the risk of abuse and neglect is a very real risk for children in cohabiting households, children from single parent families and children of divorce. In this article, we will define child abuse and neglect, examine some of the statistics regarding the level of abuse and neglect for children in different living situations, list potential warning signs of abuse and neglect and discuss what to do in the event that you suspect a child is being abused.

Introduction to the Magnitude of Child Abuse and Neglect

We will get to much more detailed statistics on the prevalence of abuse and types of living arrangement which are more prone to abuse and neglect later in this article. However, I think it is important to have some grasp of the magnitude of the problem and why it should be important to anyone who works with kids on a regular basis. According to the January 2010 report entitled “Fourth National Incidence Study of Child Abuse and Neglect (NIS-4) from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (referred to herein as NIS-4), over 1.2 million children suffer harm from child abuse or neglect per year. That equates to 17.1 children per 1,000 or approximately 1 in every 58 children. When children who are endangered by abuse or neglect are added to those figures, the numbers rise to over 2.9 million kids or 39.5 per thousand. That equates to one in every 25 children. The reach and magnitude of abuse and neglect are as varied as the forms of abuse and the types of children who experience it.

In the article “When The Bough Breaks,” Martin Johnson wrote: Continue reading

As this post is published, Hurricane Harvey is still battering parts of Texas and Louisiana in the United States with rain and flooding. As the storm eventually passes and the flooding recedes, families will be able to get back to their homes. They will, no doubt face devastation, loss and week or months of rebuilding. For many of the kids involved, this may well be the most traumatic thing they have ever experienced. For many it will become a permanent marker in their lives from which they will date things, as in “Remember before the flood…” or “that was after the hurricane.” If the effects of this trauma are not dealt with proactively in these kids, they will left to fester and likely show themselves in far more serious ways.

Fortunately, the fine people at the Mentor Research Institute have developed a resource called “The Great Storm and Flood Recovery: Children’s Story and Activity Book.”

This workbook encourages the child to fill in the blanks to explore their own experiences as well as color the pictures provide. It talks about the storm that caused the flooding, having to evacuate, cleaning up, rebuilding as well as the emotional impacts of the flooding. At all points, it gives the child a chance to reflect on their own experience.

A parent guide is included at the back of the workbook that covers: Continue reading

In our world today many children experience what is known as an emotional concussion. Emotional concussions can be just as lethal, and sometimes even more so, than a physical concussion.

Emotional concussions occur when young children live in dysfunctional homes controlled by alcohol, drugs, explosive tempers and homes full of stress. They happen when children live with dysfunctional adults and with people who are physically, emotionally, and/or sexually abusive. Divorce can also be a major cause of an emotional concussion.

From the ACEs Too High website we find,

“The life-in-dysfunction emotional concussion is a day-in-day-out brain bludgeoning by stress-induced hormones of adrenaline and cortisol.  It wires developing brains for flight, fight or freeze. It can set people up to pass on the family legacy of dysfunction.”

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Many of the young people we work with here at Hope 4 Hurting Kids have experienced some sort of trauma in their lives. Whether we are dealing with the trauma itself or the side effects of it, it is important to understand what trauma really is and the impact it has on kids. This past week, I was listening to a podcast called the Trauma Informed Support podcast (www.tipbs.com) which included the most concise and clear definition I have heard. The podcast is directed towards teachers working with kids who have experienced a trauma, and I would expand the list of potential traumas included, but other than I think it is perfect for anyone working with young people. The name of the podcast is “What is Childhood Trauma?” Here is a transcript of the podcast which includes a link to the site.

“A traumatic event is an incident that causes physical, emotional, spiritual or psychological harm. The person experiencing the distressing event may feel threatened, anxious or frightened as a result. The term “childhood trauma” describes the problem of children’s exposure to multiple or prolonged traumatic events and the impact of this exposure on their development.

Typically complex trauma exposure involves the simultaneous or sequential occurrence of child maltreatment including psychological maltreatment, neglect, physical and sexual abuse and domestic violence that is chronic, begins in early childhood and occurs within the primary care giving system.

Experiences of elevated prolonged stress or trauma rock the very core of children and young people. In these circumstances, children are overwhelmed with the internal reactions that race through their brains and bodies. They do anything to survive, not because they want to but because they need to. They shut down their feelings. They push away memories of pain. They stop relying on relationships around them to protect them. They stop trusting and believing in others.

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At Hope 4 Hurting Kids, we deal with the fall out and impacts a childhood trauma all the time. Much research has been done on childhood trauma, and the most widely know ongoing study is called ACEs for short (Adverse Childhood Experiences). The studies show that these Adverse Childhood Experiences statistically result in all kinds of problems through childhood, adolescence and the adult years. They also show how observant and caring adults in the child’s life can help.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention explains:

Childhood experiences, both positive and negative, have a tremendous impact on future violence victimization and perpetration, and lifelong health and opportunity. As such, early experiences are an important public health issue. Much of the foundational research in this area has been referred to as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).

Adverse Childhood Experiences have been linked to
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I originally wrote this article in the aftermath of the events in Newtown, CT on December 14, 2012. At the time, the deaths of the 20 six and seven year olds from that elementary school and the six staff members were still fresh in our memories and hearts.  In my own house, and in church on Sunday morning, I was faced with kids who were both afraid that something like that could happen at their school and mourning not only the loss of life but a certain loss of innocence. In the years since, we have continued to see stories of tragedy in the news and in our neighborhoods. Our kids continue to be bombarded with information and images of human beings at their lowest moments. This article was written in response to a tragedy, but we would do well to be prepared to help our kids deal with the next tragedy before it happens.  The purpose of this article is to help parents, children’s ministry workers, teachers and anyone else who works with kids to process tragedy.

The Sunday night after the tragedy at Sandy Hook, I was asked to participate in a special episode of the Kids Ministry Collective Radio Show to discuss the topic of helping kids deal with tragedy. You can find an archive of that show featuring special guest Linda Ranson Jacobs at http://www.blogtalkradio.com/cmconnect/2012/12/16/kmc-special-edition–when-tragedy-strikes-. In preparing for that show, I read numerous articles from experts on how to help kids and compiled what is a fairly comprehensive list of notes that I thought might benefit our readers. This article includes those notes on how to help kids, helpful scriptures for helping kids deal with tragedy, age-appropriate information, and ideas on how to plan and prepare kids for future tragedies and an extensive listing of additional resources available online.

Initial Thoughts

When it comes to tragedy, it is important to remember that life presents us with a series of teachable moments for our kids. Some of those are not very stressful, and some are tragic. As parents, and those who work with kids, we need to make sure that we don’t let these teachable moments slip away in the process of dealing with a tragedy. Deuteronomy 6 is the picture that God gives us a capitalizing on the teachable moments in our lives to impart spiritual truth in our children. In tragic events, there are things that we can learn and things that we can model for our kids.

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Recently I was ministering to a lady that was new to our area. She was from another state and had just moved here. She said she had to get out of an abusive marriage so she came to live with a relative and for some peace and quiet while she sorted out her thoughts.

I am always for trying to save a marriage. Unless the children are in an unsafe environment and the mom’s (or dad’s) safety is at risk, then I will mention the possibility of saving a marriage. As per my normal questions, I asked if there was any hope her marriage could be saved. She almost shouted at me,

“NO! I’ll never go back! Not after what he has put me through.”

I offered to take her through a program called “Choosing Wisely Before You Divorce.” It is about saving one’s marriage. I’ve used it several times. It has some thought provoking questions that help one sort through their feelings wisely before a couple divorces. I’ve seen several marriages saved with this program. If a marriage can’t be helped then this program gives helps for setting some boundaries for oneself as the couple moves towards divorce.

I asked her about her plans; her boundaries and what she would do if he followed her to our area. She had no plans. She had no boundaries, and I knew right then and there that she would go back to him. I knew because she had no plans; hadn’t set any boundaries and hadn’t been able to really think through the situation. She had only survived and probably had only been surviving for several years. Her brain was set on surviving in the moment.

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In our world today many children are experiencing early childhood trauma. We now know through a lot of research that childhood trauma can affect a child for the rest of their lives. The website ACEs too High (Adverse Childhood Experiences) explains through several articles and research reviews about how trauma in early childhood can affect a child’s behavior and health during childhood and can cause life-long problems.

We know that early trauma causes toxic stress on the brains of young children. So much so that the American Academy of Pediatrics has issued a policy statement about this issue. They encourage pediatricians to aid a child who is experiencing toxic stress.

This means they will need to not only check a child for the normal ear infections, colds and administer the typical childhood immunizations, but they will also need to ask questions about the home life. In essence baby doctors have been told, “Your new job is to reduce toxic stress.”

We have schools that are becoming trauma informed schools. They are reaching out and changing the way they work with children with challenging behaviors and teens with out of control behaviors.

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There is very little more heartbreaking than reading a story about child sexual abuse. When that abuse happens in the church (and is does far more often than you might think), those stories are even more heartbreaking. God has a heart for kids, and to read stories of sexual abuse that happens in a place where kids should be safe is even more heartbreaking. Being in church can give you a false sense of security. As a parent, as someone who has volunteered in children’s ministry and someone who works with children who are particularly vulnerable because of family transition, the issue of keeping our kids safe is paramount in mind, and it should be in the church as well.

In his article, 11 Vital Steps to Minimize Risk of Child Sex Abuse in Your Church Thom Rainer explores 11 different things your church SHOULD BE DOING to help to minimize the risk of abuse in your church.

Questions for Further Reflection and Discussion

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