We can learn a lot about adults in the lives of children of divorce when we look at the story of David fighting the Philistine, Goliath, in 1 Samuel 17:38-46. We pick up where King Saul tried to dress David in his adult clothes.
The scriptures say,
“Then Saul dressed David in his own tunic. He put a coat of armor on him and a bronze helmet on his head. David fastened on his sword over the tunic and tried walking around, because he was not used to them. ‘I cannot go in these,’ he said to Saul, ‘because I am not used to them.’ So he took them off.”
King Saul was proud to try to dress David in his own outfit. But, when David tried walking around King Saul’s garb, the “garb” did not fit David. Of course it didn’t fit! David was a young shepherd boy. The outfit was not made for him. It was made for King Saul, not a small boy.
Many children of divorce appear to breeze through the divorce at the time the divorce happens. Many of these are little girls who identify with their mothers. They will hide their feelings and say and do the things they think the adults expect and want from them. However, the divorce experience remains alive – but as memories that they push to the back of their minds. Little boys tend to express their frustrations and tear through their feelings using sports and active behaviors. Their negative thoughts about the divorce of their parents appear to fade away.
Everyone knows about the tornado that hit Moore, OK this past week. You have all seen the many news articles, Internet stories and news people’s accounts.
This past weekend my step-grandchildren were visiting us. The eleven year old can’t wait until she turns twelve years of age. Know why? So she can get a Facebook page. She also can’t wait until she is sixteen so she can get her driver’s license.
All kids like to collect things. Rocks, bugs, jewels, stamps, coins and other small items become important to children. Sometimes the items are silly fun things while other times there might be a purpose to the art of collecting certain items. Some children turn their collections into a hobby. Boys who collect baseball cards or other sport memorabilia are a good example of collecting as a hobby.
We all know there are many issues a single parent has to deal with in a divorced home. However, there is also an unseen side of parenting alone and living in a single parent home. A friend of mine dealt with one of these unseen circumstances this week.
Co-parenting is becoming the norm for divorcing couples and couples who are involved in cohabitation situations. But what exactly is co-parenting? Co-parenting the divorce way is when separating couples request the courts award legal joint custody of minor children. The marriage or relationship has ended, but the family still exists.
Co-parenting among divorcing couples is becoming more popular. For many children this is a good thing. This means they get to have both parents making life-long decisions for their welfare. It means children can still have family connections with both sides of the family.
The other day I was walking along the beach in the early morning when I happened upon a dad and son. The little boy, who appeared to be about 4, was frolicking in the waves and splashing water everywhere.
Have you ever thought about the power of encouragement? Most of us try to encourage children that come to our church. We do this because maybe we want to build confidence within the child. We want to promote a relationship with the child so we can help them eventually foster a relationship with Jesus Christ. We want to stimulate them spiritually so they will learn how to develop a life of faith. We want them to keep them coming back to church. Encouragement has a lot of power for the child of divorce, particularly if the parents are still in the warring stages of the divorce process.