“Advice for Parents on Dating After Divorce” is a little bit on the simplistic side when it comes to advice about dating after a divorce, but if you are in that position it does offer some solid advice for how to make it easier on your kids.
Here is an excerpt from the article:
You thought dating was hard the first time? Here you are, single again, but this time with children. You finally meet someone you really, really like and want to introduce him to your kids. How do you go about it? What if your youngsters don’t like him? What if he doesn’t like them? What if it doesn’t work out?
Before you even think about introducing your children to your new boyfriend, you need to have been dating for at least six months. No, I’m not crazy. Didn’t your last relationship end in divorce? You don’t want that to happen again and you certainly don’t want your children to go through that again. It takes at least six months to begin to really know a person. You don’t want to introduce someone and one month later have to explain to your children why they don’t see “Mike” anymore.
NOTE FROM THE EDITOR: In the area of children of divorce, there are few people who have been as influential as Judith Wallerstein. Her groundbreaking study and work has paved the way for those of us who work with children of divorce. Ms. Wallerstein passed away last week at the age of 90. Though she is now gone, her work and her influence will live on – hopefully sparking others to carry the mantle for children of divorce. One of our regular contributors – Linda Ranson Jacobs – was fortunate enough to interact with Ms. Wallerstein when she was developing the Divorce Care 4 Kids program. In this article she recounts those interactions and reflects on the contribution and legacy of Ms. Wallerstein.
From MU Extension at the University of Missouri-Columbia, “A Guide for Teachers on Helping Children Adjust to Divorce” is a guide designed specifically for school teachers on helping children deal with their parents’ divorce. The article explains:
Divorce for children can be considered one of the highest stressors children face in our world today. In order to help children learn and retain information, we need to help them learn to de-stress. While teachers in schools have been learning much about brain based learning, the flow hasn’t always come across to church leaders and teachers.
“Helping Children Build Stepfamilies That Work” from Kidshealth.org will help children dealing with step and blended families. It covers issues like getting used to stepparents, what to do if you can’t get along with your new stepparent and how to make a healthy transition into a step family.
Rosalind Sedacca shares seven keys to making your co-parenting relationship work for your kids following a divorce. Although you can’t eliminate the impact of divorce on your kids, working together and following some basic rules can make post-divorce life easier on your kids.
One of the tragedies of divorce for children is the feeling of helplessness. Many adults who experienced their parents’ divorce report that, as children, they felt powerless and vulnerable. For the children, it seems as though everything is out of control. Changing routines, people moving out, and things and belongings disappearing are just a few of the changes these children experience. There is no preparation for many children. So often the adults in a child’s life don’t talk about or explain what is taking place. The children are left to their own imaginations.
From MU Extension at the University of Missouri-Columbia, the purpose of “Helping Children Understand Divorce” is to provide parents and other adults with guidance on how to help children understand their parents’ divorce. It includes information on how to tell children about divorce and how to talk with children about divorce. From the child’s perspective, this resource includes a list of six things that kids need from mom and dad in the face of a divorce. It also includes suggestion on specific books you can use to help kids understand divorce along with a brief description of each book.
We all know divorce can be devastating on many levels. But sometimes we forget its emotional toll. In addition to the physical and financial stress on both partners, divorce can also wreak havoc on one’s self-esteem. Even those who initiate the divorce process can experience tremendous emotional turmoil resulting in guilt, anxiety and insecurity. Those who were not expecting or in any way desiring the break-up can come away feeling psychologically battered, confused and questioning their own worth.
