Every child has dreams and when parents divorce or break up, silence from the adults in their lives can tend to destroy the dreams in a normal child centered environment. All children are self-centered. That’s how God made us – to depend on our parents and other adults.

However, when there is a crisis such as a divorce, kids need people to talk to them and explain what is happening and what’s going to happen. Children don’t need silence from the very people they depend upon to help them through the rough patches of life.

Many divorcing parents don’t know what to say to their child so they don’t say much. Some will sit the kids down and tell them they are getting a divorce but they stop short of explaining exactly what that means.

• Does it mean one parent is moving out?
• Does it mean you’ll never get to see the other parent?
• Does it mean the parent no longer loves you? The child thinks if the parents fell out of love with each other than they very well could fall out of love with the child too.
• Who is going to take care of me as in love me, feed me, keep me safe and put me to bed at night?

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I’ll probably date myself with this one, but back when I was growing up, there was a popular song about the relationship between kids and parents called “Parents Just Don’t Understand.” Nowhere is this more evident than when talking about disrupted families.

One of the issues we face in making people aware of the impact of divorce on kids is the general disconnect between how parents and other adults view how their kids react to a family disruption and how the kids react. Until we begin to truly see divorce from the child’s point of view, we cannot be in a position to minister to them.

Recently, a British site called NetMums.com recently surveyed 1,000 parents and 100 children about the impact of family disruption and the perceptions of both parents and kids. Their conclusion was simple:

“Our new report reveals separating parents are in denial about the impact their divorce can have on their children.”

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If you’ve ever been a parent, worked with kids, or even been around kids, you understand the importance of stuffed animals in a child’s life. I remember when my daughter was 5, she had to have her tonsils out. Her mother and I got her a purple baby doll to “keep her company” as she went into surgery. From that point on, that six-inch tall purple doll became a source of comfort to her as she faced difficult things in life. There is no doubt that stuffed animals can bring comfort to a child, but did you know that they can also provide valuable insights into what is going on in a child’s life?

Fred Roger’s once said:

Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.

Children talk through their play, and if you’re working with hurting young people, you need to be tuned into their play in order to understand what they are going through. Stuffed animals offer you an opportunity to get kids talking who might otherwise keep things bottled up inside.

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