The Grief Mask is a great way to get kids talking about grief and how we sometimes show the world a different face than what we are feeling on the inside. Kids often hide their grief for any number of reasons including:

• Fear of adding to the pain of an adult in their life.
• Not wanting to seem like “a child” who can’t handle it.
• Not wanting to deal with all the “sympathy.”
• Wanting to “feel normal” again.

Unfortunately, burying their grief for outward appearances only leads to more significant suffering when they face their grief in private. The grief mask can be an awesome tool for talking to kids about the need to express their feelings and the dangers of keeping it all inside.

Here’s how it works: Continue reading

You know how in Terminator 2, Sarah Connor knows the truth about Skynet and the future and Judgment Day and death and approaching mayhem and no one believes her?  She knows what’s coming, and she’s right.  So she fights for what she believes and is “rewarded” by losing custody of her son and being institutionalized.

Granted, this gives us one of the awesomest girl-power scenes of all time (pull-ups on the side of your bed in a State Hospital is about as tough as you can get).   But I sometimes feel for Sarah Connor as a foster parent.

Walk with me down this long, winding comparison:

Sarah’s hands get tied because she fights too hard for someone she loves.  (Ridiculous. As if that’s possible.) She’s fighting primarily against a bunch of government employees who are overworked and underpaid and just don’t have any more energy to care.  They no longer look at each situation – at each child – and feel empowered to say, “I can make a difference here.”

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About the Book

The Invisible String is a wonderful story meant to help kids who are feeling the anxiety, loneliness and hurt of being separated from someone they love.

Who Is This Book For?

This book is aimed primarily at elementary aged kids, but the story is universal and I can see older kids, teens and adults finding comfort in the story presented in this book. Whether the child has been separated from their loved one for short time (if suffering separation anxiety), a long distance (as in a divorce) or permanently (as in the case of death), the message presented in this book will help the child to remember that no matter the distance, they are still connected to their loved one by love.

Our Synopsis of the Book

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Many people believe that suicide is just a teen and adult issue, but rates of child suicide are rising. As society forces kids to grow up earlier and earlier, our fear is that we will only see these rates continue to increase. The graph above is from a CDC report on the death of kids aged 10-14 from 1999 through 2014 (QuickStats: Death Rates for Motor Vehicle Traffic Injury, Suicide, and Homicide Among Children and Adolescents aged 10–14 Years — United States, 1999–2014. MMWR Morb Mortal Wkly Rep 2016;65:1203. DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.15585/mmwr.mm6543a8). You can see from the graph that while auto accident deaths have decreased significantly and homicides have decreased slightly over that time period, the rate of death by suicide in these pre-teen and early teen children has MORE THAN DOUBLED.

If you know a child who is talking about suicide or showing suicidal tendencies, don’t ignore it! Find help today. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 (TALK) and find a mental health professional in your area that can help with your child. Err on the side of caution and don’t assume that just because the child is young that suicide is not a possibility. Unfortunately, the statistics show that it is a very real possibility!

Every so often I feel it is important to bring a kid story to the forefront. This week I thought I’d share something that happened in a DC4K group I was leading.

A six year old boy in our group had been diagnosed with PTSD. We’ll call him Jack. For the most part, Jack was pretty out of control each week when he came to DC4K. We could usually get him in control but it normally it took some time for Jack to transition from his chaotic home life to DC4K. Most of the time, he simply brought the chaos from his home life right into our group.

One week, Jack wasn’t in class. When he came the following week, he was raring to go. Jack was in the fight/flight mode of his brain. He hid his head in the hood of his coat and refused to make eye contact with anyone. His mom dragged him up the stairs of the church and through the door. She looked at me somewhat exacerbated and mouthed, “Good luck” as she almost pushed him into our room.

I took a deep breath to stay calm and said,

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At Hope 4 Hurting Kids, we deal with the fall out and impacts a childhood trauma all the time. Much research has been done on childhood trauma, and the most widely know ongoing study is called ACEs for short (Adverse Childhood Experiences). The studies show that these Adverse Childhood Experiences statistically result in all kinds of problems through childhood, adolescence and the adult years. They also show how observant and caring adults in the child’s life can help.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention explains:

Childhood experiences, both positive and negative, have a tremendous impact on future violence victimization and perpetration, and lifelong health and opportunity. As such, early experiences are an important public health issue. Much of the foundational research in this area has been referred to as Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs).

Adverse Childhood Experiences have been linked to
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Can a pet be helpful to your children during a divorce and the transition after? Without a doubt! If your family has one or more pets, let your children have access to them as much as they desire. There is a great emotional benefit to your children, and they are fortunate that the pets they love can still be in their lives.

If you don’t already have a pet, I recommend getting one – but only if you are in a position to be responsible to that innocent animal during this time of additional stress in your life. If a family pet is out of the question, please consider giving your children time to play with the pets of friends and family. Take them to petting zoos. Allow them contact with other life forms that can give them joy at a time when they are likely experiencing stress and insecurity.

Here are six key benefits a pet provides for families coping with divorce:

1. Unconditional Love: It has been proven that pets are a source of support and unconditional love for children. During and after divorce, when there is so much instability in a child’s life, a beloved pet can be the bridge to sanity. While much around them may be changing, sweet Fluffy is still there to love them and be by their side.

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About the Book

Jesus Comfort Quilt is unique book designed for kids and adults grieving a loss. Part coloring book and part guide through the grieving process, this unique book will help kids and adults understand the grief process while creating a quilt from the various coloring pages.

Who Is This Book For?

This designed for kids ages 5-12 but will be a benefit to teens and younger children as well. The book has been used extensively by grief support groups as well as pastors and counselor supporting grieving children.

Our Synopsis of the Book

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Today’s article is for the church and should represent a call to action to those of us in the church who minister to, or care about, children. Proverbs 31:8 tells us to,

Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all who are destitute. [Proverbs 31:8 ESV]

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