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Hope 4 Hurting Kids - Moving from hurt and trauma to Hope and Healing.
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  • Home
  • COVID-19
  • Explore
    • Emotions
    • Family
    • Trauma
    • Other
  • Help Centers
    • Emotions Help Centers
      • Emotions General
      • Grief
    • Family Issues Help Centers
      • Divorce and Modern Family
      • Domestic Violence
      • Family Issues
      • Foster Families
    • Trauma Help Centers
      • Child Abuse & Neglect
      • Domestic Violence
      • Sexual Abuse and Rape
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      • Bullying
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      • Children of Divorced/Separated Parents
Divorce and Family Disruption

Children of Divorce and Overcoming Anger at God

anger at godAnger is a common emotion in children of divorce – anger at their parents, anger at siblings, anger at circumstance, anger at themselves, anger ant the world, and anger at God.

We saw this over and over again in the survey we are currently conducting of adult children of divorce (names have been changed to protect confidentiality, the numbers following the name represent age at the time of divorce and age at time of survey).

Chloe echoed a very common view of God amongst children of divorce:

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July 23, 2018by Wayne Stocks
Understanding Emotions

Emotion Scenario Cards (Anger)

Emotion Scenario Cards (Anger)

Welcome to the first installment in a line of new resources from Hope 4 Hurting Kids called Emotion Scenario Cards (Anger). These Emotion Scenario Cards present scenarios to teens and kids that can be used in a variety of ways in our comprehensive emotions management plan known as Jump In! Stand Strong! Rise Up! This particular set of cards presents kids with a range of scenarios that are likely to cause some degree of frustration or anger. These cards can be used in a variety of ways:

  1. Play a game called “Anger in Action.” Have a child select one card and act out two different ways of responding to that situation (or use two kids to act out different scenarios). Encourage them to be dramatic. Then discuss what were the best, worst and funniest reactions. [This accomplishes the Feel It, Mimic It and Talk About It components of The Super Simple Feelings Management Technique.]
  2. Use the cards in conjunction with the The Anger-ometer to talk to kids about varying degrees of anger. [This accomplishes the Feel It and Talk About It components of The Super Simple Feelings Management Technique.]
  3. Use the cards in conjunction with the Putting Anger in the Cross Hairs technique of dealing with anger to discuss things that might make kids angry. [This accomplishes the Feel It and Talk About It components of The Super Simple Feelings Management Technique and also serves as a Physical coping mechanism in the Please Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff listing of coping skills.]

You can access a downloadable pdf file with the complete set of scenario cards by clicking on the picture above.

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October 5, 2017by Wayne Stocks
Understanding Emotions

The Anger-ometer (Tracking Your Anger In Order to Deal With It)

There is nothing wrong with being angry.  How we choose to deal with that anger is important.  If we keep it all bottled up inside, we will suffer in the long run.  Or, if we choose inappropriate outlets for our anger, there can be unwanted consequences.

In order to deal with our anger, an important first step is recognizing when we get angry, how angry we get and what we do to express that anger.  That’s why we here Hope 4 Hurting Kids have developed:

THE ANGER-OMETER

Like a thermometer that measures temperature, you can use the Anger-ometer to measure the level of your anger and your reactions to it.  Use the Anger-ometer for a week to track your anger and look for any patterns.  Have a trusted friend or adult look at the results with you.  Click on the image below for a printable version of the Anger-ometer today.

Anger-ometer

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October 3, 2017by Wayne Stocks
Understanding Emotions

The Science of Anger

We write a lot on Hope 4 Hurting Kids about how to how to help kids understand emotions like anger and different coping mechanism for dealing with anger. This short video from Life Noggin will help you to understand the science of anger and what happens inside your body and your brain when you’re starting to feel angry.

For more awesome resources for learning about and dealing with emotions, please visit our Hope 4 Hurting Kids Emotions Help Center.

September 7, 2017by Wayne Stocks
Coping Skills

Using A Scream Box to Alleviate Anger, Fear and Stress

Scream BoxA Scream Box is a fun and effective way to vent some of those intense emotions that build up inside like anger, fear and stress. While breathing, physical activity and talking about it are great ways to help deal difficult emotions, sometimes you just need to scream! Handled correctly, this can be a therapeutic way to vent some of that frustration. Screaming however is not always socially acceptable or appropriate. That’s where the Scream Box comes in handy.

The pictures in this article are of a scream box my 13 year-old daughter made.

You can decorate your box however you want, but here are the basic steps:

1. Gather up the following ingredients:
– Cereal box (preferably an empty one).
– Cardboard tube from inside a roll of paper towels.
– Old newspaper or packing paper (regular paper or tissue paper can also work)
– Tape (duct tape works best, but packing tape will also suffice)
– Construction paper or wrapping paper to cover the cereal box
– Items to decorate your box (markers, pencils, stickers, glitter or whatever you want to use)

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May 18, 2017by Wayne Stocks
Coping Skills

Put Anger in the Cross Hairs (How Target Practice Can Help Kids Deal With Anger)

Target Practice

You might think that the anger and target practice probably shouldn’t go together. However, when it comes to kids taking some target practice can be an effective way of both venting anger and discussing a child’s anger with them so they can explain it better. Here is how this great idea, which we found originally on Little Birdie Secrets, works:

Hand Drawn Target

  1. Draw a series of concentric circles on a large sheet of paper or white board to create a target. You can have the child make their own target if you have some time and let them decorate it however they want.
  2. Have them write or draw things on the target that make them angry. As they do, talk to them about each item and how they’ve dealt with that anger in the past.
  3. Have the child throw something at the target. Anything soft will do – you don’t want to break anything, but the physical activity of throwing something also helps to alleviate anger. Foam balls are a great option. I use the puffer balls shown below. I got a dozen of them on Amazon for around $10 and use them for a variety of activities.

Puffer Balls

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February 13, 2017by Wayne Stocks
Understanding Emotions

Helping Children Deal With Anger

Welcome to our new series of one page guides for helping children to deal with difficult emotions. In this first installment, we look at dealing with Anger. Click here or on the picture above for a pdf version of this graphic.

For more awesome resources for learning about and dealing with emotions, please visit our Hope 4 Hurting Kids Emotions Help Center.

January 13, 2017by Wayne Stocks
Coping Skills

Using an Anger Catcher to Help Kids Deal With Anger

Anger Catcher

Anger is an almost universal emotion. If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been angry at some point, and kids are no exception. Kids get angry for any variety of reasons.

  • It could be family related turmoil – like when their parents divorce. In fact, it is one of the most universal reactions we see in kids when they experience any sort of family transitions. When visitation arrangements change, kids get mad. When dad doesn’t pick them up for his time with them, they get angry. When mom starts dating some new guy, they begin to boil. When they have to move, change schools, deal with new siblings, listen to one parent bash another, and on and on and on, they get angry.
  • It could be a reaction to stress – from school or family or sports or just not having time to be kids. Kids today are more stressed than ever, and anger is a typical reaction to stress.
  • It could be in response to fear – about what is going to happen in the future, how a family situation is going to turn out, how the kids at school will react, feeling embarrassed or any number of other things.

The list is endless, and teaching kids how to deal with anger and coping mechanisms they can safely use as they move from irritated to annoyed to angry to enraged is critical to helping them move past the anger and deal with other underlying emotions.

This craft from the website Home Stories A to Z is an awesome tool for helping kids both to deal with anger they are currently feeling and to deal with future bouts with anger. The instructions are simple (and included on the template):

  • Download the template from this site.
  • Color the various triangles on the sheet. If you want the colors to match as you use the anger catcher, color the number and coping mechanism the same color as is printed in the triangle between them. We didn’t do this as we were making our anger catchers, and it doesn’t make a difference in its use.
  • Fold each corner towards the center of the page so that the numbers and color names are facing you.
  • Turn over the anger catcher
  • Fold each corner into the center so that only the color names are visible.
  • Fold the anger catcher in half so that the color names touch and the numbers are on the outside.

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December 13, 2016by Wayne Stocks
H4HK Help Centers

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