There is nothing wrong with being angry. How we choose to deal with that anger is important. If we keep it all bottled up inside, we will suffer in the long run. Or, if we choose inappropriate outlets for our anger, there can be unwanted consequences.
In order to deal with our anger, an important first step is recognizing when we get angry, how angry we get and what we do to express that anger. That’s why we here Hope 4 Hurting Kids have developed:
THE ANGER-OMETER
Like a thermometer that measures temperature, you can use the Anger-ometer to measure the level of your anger and your reactions to it. Use the Anger-ometer for a week to track your anger and look for any patterns. Have a trusted friend or adult look at the results with you. Click on the image below for a printable version of the Anger-ometer today.
The following video is set to the music of Blink 182’s song “Stay Together for the Kids” and accurately depicts the impacts of divorce on children. The video provides a picture of what children of divorce go through. In particular, this video highlights the pain children of divorce feel and makes a link between that pain a teenage suicide. There are some disturbing images (including a picture of someone with a gun to their head) in this video, but they reflect the very real pain that many children of divorce feel. The lyrics to this song are reflected below the video.
Here are the lyrics to this song. As a parent, it may be easy to read the following lyrics and get defensive as the song is written from a child’s perspective who clearly blames his/her parents. Instead, I encourage you to hear the pain reflected in the song.
It’s hard to wake up
When the shades have been pulled shut
This house is haunted
It’s so pathetic
It makes no sense at all
I’m ripe with things to say
The words rot and fall away
What stupid poem could fix this home
I’d read it every day
So here’s your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you’re dead and gone
Will you remember this night
Twenty years now lost
It’s not right
Their anger hurts my ears
Been running strong for seven years
Rather than fix the problems
They never solve them
It makes no sense at all
I see them everyday
We get along, so why can’t they?
If this is what he wants
And this is what she wants
Then why is there so much pain?
So here’s your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you’re dead and gone
Will you remember this night
Twenty years now lost
It’s not right
So here’s your holiday
Hope you enjoy it this time
You gave it all away
It was mine
So when you’re dead and gone
Will you remember this night
Twenty years now lost
It’s not right
It’s not right
It’s not right
It’s not right
[su_divorce_hc]
This article is updated and adapted from an article originally published on Divorce Ministry 4 Kids on September 24, 2012.