I have worked with children of divorce for over thirty years and all around the country. I started out on the West Coast in the 1970s, moved to mid American in the 80s and 90s, and then to the East Coast beginning in 2002. I’ve heard some conversations that would curl your hair. I’ve also heard stories of tenderness and tales of heartbreak. Sharing these personal stories of children of divorce helps us all to get inside of their hearts and minds so that we may serve them better. Part of our mission at Hope 4 Hurting Kids is to help those who work with children to better understand the child of divorce. Understanding what is going on in their minds and their hearts is a big part of that mission.
Children are children! They run, and they play. They fall down. They get bumps, bruises and scrapes. They get mad, and they experience sadness. They express joy and happiness over silly child-like things. Unlike a child from most two-parent homes, the child of divorce often times finds herself running from the family. They are playing out their frustrations. The bumps, bruises and scrapes are on their hearts. Their anger goes deeper than it should, and the sadness is overwhelming. Many times their joy and happiness are pushed aside as they observe and protect the feelings of their parents.
Several times I have asked children of divorce,
If you had a chance to tell your parents, and other adults something about divorce, what would you say?