Family

Last week we looked at the mistakes we have made when working with children from divorced homes that have out of control behaviors. This week we continue exploring mistakes of the past. Mistake #3 – Everything Was Based On How the Adult Felt If the teacher felt happy then all was good. Oh my goodness, do you remember the happy face/sad face signs? I am so embarrassed to share this but, since I want you to explore your mistakes, I’ll share some of my worst ones. I very clearly remember one incident. We had paper plate hanging on a chair ...

Are there other moms out there who have been blessed by your state’s Early Intervention program? Google tells me this service has all kinds of names across the country: Help Me Grow, Baby Net, Birth to Three, Infants & Toddlers, Early Steps, First Connections, Babies Can’t Wait. This service in Pennsylvania has been awesome for us as foster parents. We've had three different "types" of therapists over the last three years—physical therapy (PT), speech therapy, and occupational therapy (OT). (By the way, in case you’re unfamiliar—like I was—Occupational therapy, according to kidshealth.org, helps kids with various needs improve their cognitive, ...

In this insightful article, Lee Block answers the question, "Is Divorce With Kids Selfish?" She explains: Divorce is selfish by necessity when you think about it. No matter what, someone gets hurt. If it isn't you, then it is your kids and if it isn't your kids, then it is your ex, but in the end, someone has to pay the price. The question is, who can adjust the best? If you work with children of divorce, it is important that you understand the perspective of the parents as well.  Reading this article will give you a glimpse into the ...

From MU Extension at the University of Missouri-Columbia, "Helping Infants and Toddlers Adjust to Divorce" specifically addresses how divorce impacts infants and toddlers.  Too many people believe that divorce does not impact these kids because they are young.  This couldn’t be further from the truth. The article explains: During their first three years of life, children grow quickly, become mobile, learn language, begin to understand how the world works and form social relationships. Environmental changes such as parental divorce can affect a child's development, but parents have the power to help their children adjust to family changes. Beginning with younger ...

Many children living in divorcing single parent homes experience tremendous stress leading to some out of control behaviors. When they come to your church, your volunteers question what on earth could be causing these kids to act like that. They may wonder if there is any discipline in the home at all. It is not that their parents are bad parents or that they aren’t trying, but more likely it is because there is confusion and chaos in the child’s life. Many of these children live in high conflict situations where they experience high stress levels. In the book Beyond ...

Anyone who knows me would not call me a musically inclined person. I am the epitome of the idiom, “He can’t carry a tune in a bucket.” That said, I do like music. There are periods in my life which are marked by a particular song or set of songs, and when I hear those songs I am transported back to that time in my life. Following my adoption into God’s family, I have found that He works through music to readjust my attitude, encourage me or challenge me. The perfect song at the perfect time and place – I ...

When divorce enters a family, everyone is affected. Sometimes the impact on grandparents is overlooked amidst the turmoil involving parents and children. But the affect can be devastating for grandparents who want to help and also stay in the lives of the children they love. Grandparents often ask me, “How do I help and stay close to my grandkids when we are geographically separated?” You do that by maintaining and strengthening the relationship you already have. Here are some ways you can stay in the lives of your grandchildren despite the distance between you. Create a special Journal of activities ...

“Can you believe he didn’t even come to his own granddaughter’s graduation?” With fire in her eyes my friend continued with, “He didn’t even bother to call or send a card. What’s wrong with a man like that?” This isn’t the first conversation we have had about her dad. As a grown woman what she really wants to know is, Why didn’t my dad love me enough to act like a dad? Why didn’t this man who is supposed to be my father stick around? Why doesn’t he call me to see how I’m doing? Why doesn’t he remember me ...

In children’s ministry we believe, at least we should believe, that parents are important to the spiritual upbringing and nurture of their children. This is, after all, the basis of the entire “orange” theory of children’s ministry – that the church and parents working together can have a greater influence on a child’s life than either one working independently. We strive to find ways to encourage and engage parents. We talk about leveraging our time with the children at church by equipping parents to continue the conversation at home. We minister to families and parents, all in an effort to ...

Link Click here to play Changeville. Background Changeville is an internet based game released in 2008 by the Justice Education Society of British Columbia, Canada.  Changeville is an interactive, virtual world designed “to give children tools and information that will help diminish the fears and anxiety they may feel.”  Some of the information contained within the game is targeted directly to residents of Canada (like contact information if kids need to talk to someone), but most of it applies to children from any country. How it Works We you enter the world of Changeville, you will be prompted to enter ...

THE SINGLE PARENT DILEMMA What do you say to the single parent that comes to you with this problem? “What can I do about my kids being exposed to things they shouldn’t be when they are at their other parent’s home? He shows them R rated movies, plays music that’s not appropriate for their age and has his latest girlfriend spending the night while they are there. What can I do? He even has different social and religious standards. My kids, who are only in elementary school, are already seeing a difference in what I allow and what their father ...

Our very own Linda Ranson Jacobs has written a new series on how divorce affects children of all ages. Linda is now writing for the new blog from Divorce Care 4 Kids (DC4K).  The good news for you is that you can now learn from Linda’s wisdom and insights more often than just on Friday here on Divorce Ministry 4 Kids, and we would encourage you to bookmark her blog. One of Linda’s first series on the new blog highlights how divorce affects kids at every age and stage of development.  This is a great resource for you and for ...