H4HK FAQs: Was My Parents’ Divorce My Fault?

H4HK FAQs are designed to answer questions kids and teens ask when facing difficult situations and circumstances in their lives.

If you are wondering if your parents’ divorce or separation is your fault, you are not alone.  Most children of divorce at some point believe that their parents’ split up had something to do with them.  Maybe you think if you had behaved better they would still be together.  Perhaps you wonder if you weren’t involved in so many extra-curricular activities if they wouldn’t fight so much and would still be together.  Maybe something happened on the day your parents told you about the split, and you’re convinced that what you did that day caused them to split up.  Regardless of why you think you caused your parents’ divorce, there is one thing that you need to know for certain:

CHILDREN DO NOT CAUSE DIVORCES, ADULTS DO!

In other words:

IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!

Divorce is an adult problem and a decision made by one or both of your parents.  You did not cause it, and there is nothing you could have done to prevent it.  That’s why we developed the W.I.S.H. worksheet below.  This two page worksheet is designed to help you to work through why you view your parents’ divorce as your fault and understand that it is not.  In four easy steps, you can help yourself to move past the guilt that you have been carrying.  Those four steps are:

  1. What caused the divorce?
  2. I did nothing wrong.
  3. Say Something
  4. Help Others

Click on either of the images below for a printable pdf version of this worksheet.

FOR THE ADULTS: If you are printing this worksheet for kids, consider printing it on the front and back of one page.

Parents' Divorce My FaultParents' Divorce My Fault

Find answers to other frequently asked questions on our H4HK FAQs Page. For more resources and information on divorce, family disruption and modern families please visit our Hope 4 Hurting Kids Divorce and Modern Family Help Center.

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Written by Wayne Stocks

Wayne is the founder and executive director of Hope 4 Hurting Kids. He is a happily married father of four kids with a passion for helping young people who are going through rough times. In addition to Hope 4 Hurting Kids, Wayne previously started I Am A Child of Divorce and Divorce Ministry 4 Kids to help kids who are dealing with the disruption of their parents’ relationship. These are now part of Hope 4 Hurting Kids. Wayne speaks frequently at conferences and churches on issues related to helping kids learn to deal with difficult emotions and life in modern families.

Wayne lives with his wife, three youngest kids, three dogs and an insane collection of his kids’ other pets outside of Columbus, Ohio. In addition to his work with Hope 4 Hurting Kids, Wayne is a partner in a local consulting firm, an avid reader, coaches his son’s soccer team and is a proud supporter of Leicester City Football Club (and yes, for those in know, his affinity for the club does predate the 2016 championship).

You can reach Wayne at wayne@hope4hurtingkids.com.